The Time We Were Mistaken for Lesbian Lovers


When my friend’s daughter was in High School she was in a long distance relationship with a nice boy from Orlando. One weekend she wanted to visit her boyfriend so she asked my friend if she would drive her and my friend was happy to do so. She called me early in the week and asked if I wanted to come along and we would get a hotel room and make a weekend of it. Her daughter was going to stay with her boyfriend’s family in their home. It was the first time that my friend was going to meet the boyfriend’s family and since her husband couldn’t make it, I was glad to go along. I was excited to take a road trip and spend a fun “girls” weekend with my longtime friend whom I had known over 20 years! We knew each other so well, we liked to do the same things and we always had such wild things happen when we were together so it’s understandable how much I looked forward to this. We had a whole itinerary planned; martinis, sightseeing and shopping. Unfortunately, on the drive there, there was terrible accident on the I4 which resulted in the highway being completely shut down. We quickly found an alternate route which took us through the backroads of Central Florida. After 2 hours of driving with cows as our scenery, we finally arrived at our destination. The boyfriend’s mother had a huge spread ready for us even though we were several hours late. She was absolutely lovely and my friend’s daughter was finally happy to see her boyfriend. I sat down and saw that my friend’s chair was pushed too far under the table so of course I pulled it out for her. After she sat down she poured a cup of coffee for me and prepared it just the way I liked it. Then I saw that there were capers on the table next to the lox and cream cheese and I knew how much my bestie loved her capers! So I excitedly exclaimed, “Caroline! There’s capers, I’ll put some on your plate for you!” She replied, “Oh yes, thank you, you know just what I like!” She sat down next to me and after she helped herself to egg salad she put some on my plate as well, knowing I would want some. Soon enough, small talk was initiated and we were having a wonderful time getting to know the boyfriend’s parents, especially his mother. My friend and I spoke about our many “adventures” together and we started doing that thing where we laughed so hard we couldn’t talk and we started to finish each other’s sentences. So the mother started to get a bit curious. She cocked her head to one side and said with a huge smile, “Sooo, how did you two meet?” We didn’t think it was an odd question and we both replied, “At our kids’ preschool!” We spoke about how we hit it off immediately and understood each other’s humor. We went on to explain how our daughters became friends and we were all pretty much inseparable! She then leaned in further and became even more curious about our relationship. She asked, “Do you find it difficult to raise daughters in your particular lifestyle?” As I wiped the cream cheese shmear from my friend’s face, I replied, “How do you mean?” At that moment before she could answer, her husband came back from the kitchen holding a piece of paper. He stated, “Ladies, Sharon and I will never use this, go on and have some fun while you are in town.” We stared down at the paper and it was a gift certificate for a couples massage at a local spa. “Wow,” my friend exclaimed, “that’s so kind and thoughtful of you, we would love that!” At that moment my friend’s daughter and her boyfriend broke out in laughter, and still we did not see the writing on the wall, after all, we are just two middle aged women, what do we know from this? We love massages and we love going to the spa, what was so funny?

After lunch we thanked our hosts for the lovely meal and for the gift certificate and we went on our way. We checked into a lovely Bed and Breakfast in a historical part of town which oddly seemed to be filled with many young honeymooners. We thought it was sweet! As a matter of fact, the hotel staff handed us 2 flutes filled with champagne upon arrival and they said that it was complimentary for all couples staying at the Inn. We figured, free champagne, awesome! Later that afternoon we grew tired of shopping so we decided since our time in town was short, we would take a chance and see if the spa would be able to fit us in for the massage. Luckily, they just so happened to have their special couples massage room available. We went into the lounge and changed into fluffy white robes and fluffy slippers and entered the massage room. We were amazed that the entire room was filled with lit candles and rose petals were strewn throughout! Luther Vandross music was playing quietly in the background. As we were on the tables getting our very relaxing massages, one of the therapists asked with his head cocked to one side and smiling, “Sooo how did you two meet?” And with that, we both looked up, turned our heads towards each other and had the best belly laugh of our lives!! We finally understood why the kids were laughing earlier; these 2 middle aged women were mistaken for Lesbian lovers!!!