So let me tell you what happened as Yankel hobbled away from the deli with the gefilta fish pressed against his groin… The Godmother’s friend Lucille walked in to deli. She approached Martha who was working behind the counter. “I’m here to see the Godmother,” she proclaimed. Martha replied without speaking as she timidly raised her arm and pointed to the back of the deli. Just then, you could hear the Godmother bellowing, “Where’s my borscht?” Martha with hand shaking, gave a plate to Lucille and said with great trepidation, “Here, you bring the borscht to her, it might help your plight!” Lucille walked slowly towards the back and approached the table. She set the borscht down next to the Godmother. “Here’s your borscht,” she said as she kissed the Godmother’s ring and then remarked, “You look younger every time I see you, what’s your secret?” The Godmother replied, “An ounce of shmaltz and a good shtupping daily, it keeps you regular!” Lucille sat down in an empty spot next to Francine with Mah jongg tiles set up. That’s when the Godmother blurted, “Jose, sit down and be our fourth for Mah jongg!” I obediently sat down and we proceeded to play. The Godmother started the conversation. She said,” So Lucille, to what do I owe this pleasure, you didn’t just come for the Mah Jongg.” Lucille, who as East, started the game said, ” There’s talk in the street I think you should know about, 2 Crack.” Then Godmother replied, “Tell me more, 5 Bam.” It was my turn and I said, ” Are you referring to the alleged illegal high stakes Mah Jongg game, 7 dot.” Francine mumbled, “what are you talking about Jose?, red dragon” Lucille revealed, “Yeah, it’s real, it’s in Sheepshead Bay, 6 crack!” Godmother then took her turn, ” Everyone knows I run the Mah Jongg ring in Brooklyn, 1 dot!” I then turned to the Godmother and replied, ” Well this one you don’t know about, I’m in this deli everyday and I witness everything as I sweep, I hear it’s run by the Russians, 9 crack.” Then Francine exclaimed, ” Oh the Russians, why do they meddle in everything? 4 bam.” Then Lucille chimed in, ” Instead of betting in change they are betting in BIG dollars, Svetlana Oosterveld, was seen carrying 50’s and 20’s down Sheepshead Bay Road last night, Soap!” Godmother gasped, ” 50’s and 20’s? Where’s my cut? Red Dragon.” I then added, “And I heard that they are photocopying the Mah Jongg cards, North!” Everyone fell silent. The Godmother uttered, ” This is a mockery on so many levels,” as she stopped playing . She then tasted her borscht and immediately spit it out. ” The borscht is scalding hot”, she shrieked, “Martha, who is responsible for this?” Martha came running to the back of the deli and nervously replied, ” We have a new cook, Alejandro, he just got off the boat from Columbia.” Francine with her face twisted confusedly asked, ” Columbia University has a boat?” I then shook my head and went to get Alejandro from the kitchen. Alejandro walked in holding his dishtowel in his hands as he shakily whispered, “Si, Godmother, Si.” She replied, ” I’m going to send you back to your home country in pieces!” Alejandro, confused spoke the only 4 English words he knew,
” I no speaka English.” Godmother sneered, ” Let me put it in a language you’ll understand, borscht is a dish best served cold, like REVENGE!!! ” She then flung the scalding borscht in Alejandro’s face. Alejandro ran screaming through the front of the deli covered in borscht, ” El Diablo, La Abuela del Diablo!” And with that Godmother says, “Mah Jongg!”….Tune in next time ( in 2 weeks) for the rest of the story….