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Standing in line for the interview as nervous as can be,
The young woman was hoping to get the job you see.
Behind the door were 4 superheroes she admired,
For today a new member of their team was to be hired.

Their specialty was working with children of a young age,
Saving them from peril and disasters that rage.
For Superheroes come with a variety of powers and skillsets,
She was afraid that hers wasn’t good enough for the requirements to be met.

With great trepidation she walked into the room,
And she admitted to herself that she felt a slight sense of doom.
Her hands were shaking and her throat was dry,
But she told herself that she had to at least try.

They perused her resume then looked at her with despair,
Then the hero in charge said, “It seems as though your power is quite rare.”
He continued, “But you can’t save a child from an earthquake or a fire,
So why should it be you whom we hire?”

She knew this was her one chance to prove her worth,
For not many people are given such a powerful ability from birth.
She stated, “Yes sir, I know those things I cannot do,
But allow me to speak freely about a disaster that is new.”
“A ‘new’ disaster,”
The hero in charge asked her.
“Yes,” She replied and went on to say,
“There is a different kind of danger in the world today.
It’s not the same type of scariness to which we are accustomed,
It comes from within and I feel it causes great destruction”.

“It is called anxiety and it is striking the minds and hearts of the very young,
And if you’re asking for my opinion, something needs to be done!
For I can fly like a fairy and hang from the trees,
Sit on benches and railings sideways and be very carefree.
I will entertain them as I hang upside down, flip and fly through the sky,
This will bring them a moment of joy nobody can deny.
I can even carry them in my arms but only if they let me,
I will be very careful you see.
They will have laughter and mirth, happiness and relief,
Their burden will be lifted and they will feel no more grief.
If I could help a child suffering and in need,
Then I have the greatest superpower indeed!”

The panel of heroes sat there in awe and were inspired,
For they never knew about this danger and all said in unison, “You’re hired!”
The young woman was so happy she could barely contain her glee,
She knew in her heart that this was where she needed to be.

This was written in response to Sadje’s What do you see prompt:
http://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2019/11/25/what-do-you-see-5/

#whatdoyousee

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Not meant to be offensive… just amusing! People are just downright funny when you think about it! Laugh at yourself first and it will change your perspective. We are all unique and have personal experiences and upbringings that have shaped us into the people we have become. But one thing that ties us together is the ability to laugh at our foibles. We love people and we find humor in every day situations. Try it. Your quality of life will improve!

True story.….

One day my friend and I were having lunch at a small bistro in town. After eating, we decided to try out the newest nail salon which was all the rave. We heard that it was pristine and the owner runs a professional, “tight” ship.

Upon entering the salon, we noticed that the place was completely white, as if it was really meant to be a hospital. All of the instruments were sealed in plastic and when unwrapped were placed in a tray under a UV sterilizer. All the Nail techs wore white spotless uniforms and their hair was pulled back tightly in buns. The male techs also wore white and had very short cropped hair. As we passed through the door my friend grazed the edge the door jam and scratched her arm. It seemed like a superficial scratch and it didn’t even hurt her, so we continued towards the reception desk. The young Asian woman greeted us with a forced smile and in a very thick Korean accent said intimidatingly, “You have appointment?” to which I replied with trepidation, “No, um, no we don’t, but we both want pedicures.” With agitation and reluctance, she motioned for us to go back to the pedicure chairs and she said, “Number 4, number 5.” We dutifully proceeded to sit down in chairs 4 and 5. The water was soothing and we just started to relax when my friend’s nail technician said something under her breath in Korean to my nail technician. They spoke so quietly yet they seemed to understand each other. Then both of them glared at my friend’s arm, and that’s when we noticed that she was bleeding profusely. She must have hurt it worse than we originally thought because they quickly shot up and got paper towels. They gave them to my friend saying quite hysterically, in their thick accents, “You bleeding, put pressure on arm, you make mess in here! No bleeding on floor!” Their accents were so thick, that at first we thought they were saying she was breeding! My friend, quite shaken from all the antics, frantically put pressure on her wound as the technicians kept shouting at her. After what seemed like an eternity, the bleeding stopped. They quickly took away the bloody paper towels and things seemed to settle down. The pedicures continued and we began to relax again. We turned on the massage feature in the chairs and they brought water with lemon for both of us. It was lovely, we were in heaven until my friend’s nail tech clipped her toenail too close to the skin and once again she started to bleed! This time from her toe! That’s when all hell broke loose in the cleanest nail salon in entire universe. All the nail techs in the place jumped up and ran over. My nail tech angrily asked my friend, “Are you homopheliac? Are you?” I think she meant hemophiliac, but at this point I wasn’t going to correct her. My friend quite shakily answered as her tub water started to turn red, “No, no I’m not, you cut me with the clippers.” Now the entire staff became involved in bringing over paper towels. Patrons were leaving their stations to see what the ruckus was all about. It became very embarrassing but it was about to get much worse!

Oh boy! Did it get worse!

Just then, everyone’s attention was drawn to the back of the salon as the door to the waxing room flew open, and out came the salon owner, and I swear he was the spitting image of Kim Jong Un. No kidding, for a hot second we actually thought it was him! He had the same haircut as the North Korean dictator and upon further inspection, we noticed that he was also wearing the same ill fitting poorly tailored black pinstriped suit that the dictator is often pictured wearing. He even had it buttoned all the way up to his neck! He stood motionless for a few seconds and he was holding a wooden stick covered with hot dripping wax. The entire place fell silent. For a moment, I thought he was going to cauterize my friend’s cut, or worse: torture us with the hot wax. But, when he finally spoke he said quite loudly and in the thickest accent I have ever heard in my life, “YOU BLEEDING, YOU LEAVE SALON NOW!” He was brandishing the hot wax stick through the air as if it were a weapon, and wax was flying everywhere. He continued, “NO BLEEDING HERE, THIS NOT HOSPITAL! YOU CANNOT STAY HERE, YOU BE HERE TOO LONG, YOU BLEED IN SALON, LEAVE NOW! YOU CAN’T GET SPARKLE FOR 5 DOLLA MORE!” We were completely freaked out, it was way too much for 2 middle aged Jewish woman to handle. We got up with wet feet, (in my friend’s case it was bloody wet feet) and ran as fast as we could out the door as we heard him scream one last time, “YOU BLEED TOO MUCH, THAT WHY YOU GOT NO BOYFRIEND!”

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Lying here, I am filled with a sense of dread,

For night is coming and I feel like the Walking Dead.

Anxiously sweating and thrashing about,

I can’t remember whether I let the cat in or out.

I am astonished by my “foggy” brain,

Remembering even the smallest things seems to be a strain.

I use the restroom several times a night,

As I see a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I catch a fright!

For it looks as though from the crypt I rose,

Or like a haunted creature chock full of woes.

I wake up in the morning haggard and without rest,

Menopause sure does stink,

To that I can attest!

In response to Sadje’s Keep it Alive prompt #4

http:/lifeafter50forwomen.com/2019/11/18/what-do-you-see-4/

#whatdoyousee

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Our “beloved” Jewish Godmother is on a bit of a respite at the moment.. Jose decided this was the best time to travel to South America to visit family.. but never fear, they will be back soon and more Jewish Godmother tales will be shared. Now is a good opportunity to catch up with parts 1-4 of The Jewish Godmother if you haven’t already. Who knows what will happen next?

So come on! Sit back, take a break, relax and have a good read!

Part 1:

https://forbiddenbromance.com/2019/08/02/the-jewish-godmother-as-told-by-jose-flores-de-las-guiterrez-perez-de-fernandez-de-leon-de-jesus/

Part 2:

https://forbiddenbromance.com/2019/08/08/the-jewish-godmother-part-2/

Part 3:

https://forbiddenbromance.com/2019/10/19/the-jewish-godmother-part-2-continued/

Last but not least, Part 4:

https://forbiddenbromance.com/2019/10/29/my-jewish-godmother-part-4-of-4/

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CAPERS!!!

When my friend’s daughter was in High School she was in a long distance relationship with a nice boy from Orlando. One weekend she wanted to visit her boyfriend so she asked my friend if she would drive her and my friend was happy to do so. She called me early in the week and asked if I wanted to come along and we would get a hotel room and make a weekend of it. Her daughter was going to stay with her boyfriend’s family in their home. It was the first time that my friend was going to meet the boyfriend’s family and since her husband couldn’t make it, I was glad to go along. I was excited to take a road trip and spend a fun “girls” weekend with my longtime friend whom I had known over 20 years! We knew each other so well, we liked to do the same things and we always had such wild things happen when we were together so it’s understandable how much I looked forward to this. We had a whole itinerary planned; martinis, sightseeing and shopping. Unfortunately, on the drive there, there was terrible accident on the I4 which resulted in the highway being completely shut down. We quickly found an alternate route which took us through the backroads of Central Florida. After 2 hours of driving with cows as our scenery, we finally arrived at our destination. The boyfriend’s mother had a huge spread ready for us even though we were several hours late. She was absolutely lovely and my friend’s daughter was finally happy to see her boyfriend. I sat down and saw that my friend’s chair was pushed too far under the table so of course I pulled it out for her. After she sat down she poured a cup of coffee for me and prepared it just the way I liked it. Then I saw that there were capers on the table next to the lox and cream cheese and I knew how much my bestie loved her capers! So I excitedly exclaimed, “Caroline! There’s capers, I’ll put some on your plate for you!” She replied, “Oh yes, thank you, you know just what I like!” She sat down next to me and after she helped herself to egg salad she put some on my plate as well, knowing I would want some. Soon enough, small talk was initiated and we were having a wonderful time getting to know the boyfriend’s parents, especially his mother. My friend and I spoke about our many “adventures” together and we started doing that thing where we laughed so hard we couldn’t talk and we started to finish each other’s sentences. So the mother started to get a bit curious. She cocked her head to one side and said with a huge smile, “Sooo, how did you two meet?” We didn’t think it was an odd question and we both replied, “At our kids’ preschool!” We spoke about how we hit it off immediately and understood each other’s humor. We went on to explain how our daughters became friends and we were all pretty much inseparable! She then leaned in further and became even more curious about our relationship. She asked, “Do you find it difficult to raise daughters in your particular lifestyle?” As I wiped the cream cheese shmear from my friend’s face, I replied, “How do you mean?” At that moment before she could answer, her husband came back from the kitchen holding a piece of paper. He stated, “Ladies, Sharon and I will never use this, go on and have some fun while you are in town.” We stared down at the paper and it was a gift certificate for a couples massage at a local spa. “Wow,” my friend exclaimed, “that’s so kind and thoughtful of you, we would love that!” At that moment my friend’s daughter and her boyfriend broke out in laughter, and still we did not see the writing on the wall, after all, we are just two middle aged women, what do we know from this? We love massages and we love going to the spa, what was so funny?

After lunch we thanked our hosts for the lovely meal and for the gift certificate and we went on our way. We checked into a lovely Bed and Breakfast in a historical part of town which oddly seemed to be filled with many young honeymooners. We thought it was sweet! As a matter of fact, the hotel staff handed us 2 flutes filled with champagne upon arrival and they said that it was complimentary for all couples staying at the Inn. We figured, free champagne, awesome! Later that afternoon we grew tired of shopping so we decided since our time in town was short, we would take a chance and see if the spa would be able to fit us in for the massage. Luckily, they just so happened to have their special couples massage room available. We went into the lounge and changed into fluffy white robes and fluffy slippers and entered the massage room. We were amazed that the entire room was filled with lit candles and rose petals were strewn throughout! Luther Vandross music was playing quietly in the background. As we were on the tables getting our very relaxing massages, one of the therapists asked with his head cocked to one side and smiling, “Sooo how did you two meet?” And with that, we both looked up, turned our heads towards each other and had the best belly laugh of our lives!! We finally understood why the kids were laughing earlier; these 2 middle aged women were mistaken for Lesbian lovers!!!

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Originally posted by Beckie:

https://beckiesmentalmess.blog/2019/11/07/pop-pop-of-positivity-share-7-theme-funny-live-comedy-skits-from-tv-blogger-share/

Pop of Positivity”   It’s based on one simple thing.  “Life doesn’t have to suck all the time.”  Let’s face it… There’s a Helluva lot of negativity in the real world, and it’s pretty hard to escape it.  I thought of this as a means to brighten up everyone’s day.  Taking time away from thinking about the negative and switch gears and think of the positive.  Perhaps,  we can all share some smiles along the way too.

Her prompt #7 is funny tv skits

My team and I have had many laughs from these particular scenes, I hope you do too!

I love Lucy chocolate scene

Condoms Rose! The Golden Girls

SNL Skit: The Haircut/Baby Shower